Izzy felt a good amount of sympathy for Alec, knowing that he hadn’t realized that Jace would stick by him no matter what…that his family, his real family, would. In any world, she was positive that she was not like her parents; Izzy’s loyalty was not wavering, and even if Jace made his mistakes he loved Alec no matter what difficulty his parabatai was going through. All the young shadowhunter could manage was a nod, though, thinking about how useless she’d have been without her brother’s support, and she could only offer the same for him. Izzy still had trouble imagining this alternate version of herself…the one that wasn’t quite as open with her feelings, and she still prickled at the thought. It felt, or seemed rather, too close to the way that Maryse carried herself and Izzy couldn’t stand the idea of being like that. She was glad that she wasn’t quite that person, the one that had to protect herself rather than being open. She was more harsh on that version of herself than Alec was, but that was sort of easy…considering it was still her, in some ways.
Izzy couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. “Good, I’ll hold you to it.” She teased, thoughtfully adding after a moment, “But you can make the reminders random surprises, not a particular time. It’s more interesting that way.” It was such a lame joke, but it came out anyway. She didn’t know, exactly anyway, what his actual sister was like, she just hoped that Alec could get used to her because she meant it when she said that she was going to be here and be his support. Izzy didn’t say things that she didn’t mean, and she always did her damnedest to do what she thought was right.
“Oh, Jace is always the troublemaker, but you always get dragged into it along with him. So, who knew if you’d decided to pick up the slack or not.” Izzy grinned, to show that she wasn’t criticizing the blonde that had become such an important part of their family. She added a wink on, to show that she was mostly teasing. Though, who knew what sort of trouble a more outgoing version of her brother could actually manage to find in a place like this? Izzy’d already made some interesting revelations herself. Not all of them were related to the differences between her and Alec’s worlds, though.
“My parents spend a nice chunk of time in Idris, it seems like. Max just got expelled again, actually.” Izzy offered, offhandedly, thinking about her younger brother and his impish ways. She still didn’t know why he seemed so intent on the fire rune, but that wasn’t the important thing; she knew that their parents weren’t exactly in great standing, but it seemed like her own versions had more freedom than his. “Maryse, in particular, didn’t want to lose control of the Institute, though.” Izzy wrinkled her nose; the differences were confusing and made it all the harder to figure out how similar and dissimilar their parents actually were in comparison. Izzy immediately nodded, though; she could see the similarities between the two, even if the one in front of her seemed to be more comfortable with himself. Maybe that was why it seemed so easy to attach herself to him the way she had her brother at home.
“He’s a lot like you from what I can tell, you’re just…in a better, less confused, place. Either way, though, I always wanted him, you, whatever…to be happy despite everything. Keeping the institute by marrying…definitely wasn’t an idea I liked, but I support my brothers even when they’re being stupid. Or stupidly noble.” Izzy shared, pointedly. It was true, though; she’d supported them throughout whatever….even if it was a mistake, she just…always did. Izzy couldn’t help but lift an eyebrow; she didn’t know if it was possible for the Clary and Jace situation to get more awkward, but she hoped it didn’t.
She already didn’t know what to do with the entire situation. “One, I hope that’s what they find out if I ever get back home. Two, I didn’t know that situation could get more awkward and weird when it was happening.” Izzy admitted with a little bit of a sigh before shaking that off. Izzy was meddlesome, but she’d been a little caught up with other things throughout all of that. And a part of her knew that that hadn’t helped Jace, or Clary, at the time, but she couldn’t go back and fix it.
She could help fix things for Alec here and now, though. “Well, you should find what makes you happy and what you enjoy doing.” Izzy’s tone was definitely bordering on bossy, but she didn’t feel as if it was much of a mistake in this case. Alec didn’t need to keep busy to stop thinking about his family now; she might not be his Izzy, but he had her now. And she would always be encouraging; she couldn’t help it. “You don’t need to keeps yourself busy all the time…and just because the vampires can’t get to you doesn’t mean that it’s your responsibility, you know, I’m sure there are others if you want to do other things.” She couldn’t help herself. Izzy had skills that she enjoyed, and she wanted the same for her brother…at home he’d been the one to take charge at the Institute the vast majority of the time, but that wasn’t by choice; it was birthright. The unladylike snort escaped Izzy’s mouth, and she didn’t bother to pretend that she hadn’t let it out. “Well, you’re going to get used to me not ignoring those things sooner or later, I’m sure.” A grin pulled at her painted lips and she followed it up with a shrug. “I like to be involved.”
The unfortunate thing was that she didn’t always want to drag Alec into her own issues and problems. She hoped, silently, that Meliorn wasn’t a traitor too, otherwise the rescue operation she’d championed…was for someone who didn’t deserve it. No, that wasn’t true. What they were going to do to him still wasn’t right, especially for the reason that he’d been brought in. Izzy couldn’t doubt that, her sense of justice in this matter, right now. She was surprised, though, by Alec’s question and shrugged it off, unsuccessfully. “I…broke it off because Maryse.” She admitted, frowning. “I was going through a phase, an attempting to grow up and not be the rebellious sibling phase.” Izzy shrugged again, not sure that quite explained it. “I actually thought doing that and dressing and acting the way she wanted would take some of the pressure off of Alec and that I’d prove myself to her. It was stupid, but it wasn’t the wrong thing to do.” It just hadn’t really been her choice. It wasn’t important, though, or at least that’s what Izzy tried to tell herself. Especially in comparison to some of the other subjects, especially the ones Alec needed to touch on.
“You wouldn’t do that, Alec.” Izzy corrected her brother, gently. She knew Alec. She even felt like she knew this Alec. He had too much of a sense of responsibility. He’d done what he thought was right in the moment. “You did what was right in the moment. You couldn’t let other people suffer.” She was convinced she was right and there wasn’t going to be any changing her mind. Squeezing her brother’s shoulders, the very ones that she knew had carried far more weight than should have been heaped on, Izzy felt sad. She could tell that what happened had a huge effect on him, and she was sure it had a big one on every single member of their family.
Izzy moved, leaning in and wrapping her arms around her brother, understanding, and yet knowing that despite his emotional state…there was nothing that he could have done. She could feel a lump in her stomach, even one in her throat, as she thought about the possibility of that happening to her brothers, to the family she left behind. It didn’t change her opinion. “You didn’t know, you were in a hard position and you made the choice that you had to. The right choice. You didn’t know that he was going to betray you.” She soothed, trying not to think about what she’d do, what she’d think, and what she’d feel if she were in his Izzy’s shoes at the time. What would she feel if she hadn’t been able to save Max?
She’d blame herself. She knew it. She couldn’t deny that, but Alec hadn’t done anything wrong. It wasn’t his fault. “It doesn’t make anything better, or change it, but you didn’t do anything wrong. And it’s not your fault, or her’s….no matter how much you both blame yourselves. I wasn’t there, I haven’t been through it, but…from what you’ve said it’s not either of your faults.” It wasn’t easy to say, but…it was a little easier considering it wasn’t her situation, she hadn’t been through it. But she still dreaded the idea that it could happen, potentially. She couldn’t help the frown marring her face, or the emotion that was held just beneath the surface; it wasn’t her family, her Max, but she felt the emotions all the same. Especially considering the fact that she couldn’t rule out the possibility that it could one day happen to her little brother. God, she really hoped that it didn’t; she didn’t care how selfish it was, but she didn’t hope that just for her, but for the adorable imp everyone loved back home.
It felt wrong to be emotional at someone else’s pain and torment…that she hadn’t had to face, and yet here she was holding back her own emotions, and doing her best to be strong for the brother that had been through so much more than the one that she knew. It was definitely easier said than done. It only made things more apparent that they needed one another, even if they weren’t quite the right versions for the other.
no subject
Izzy couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. “Good, I’ll hold you to it.” She teased, thoughtfully adding after a moment, “But you can make the reminders random surprises, not a particular time. It’s more interesting that way.” It was such a lame joke, but it came out anyway. She didn’t know, exactly anyway, what his actual sister was like, she just hoped that Alec could get used to her because she meant it when she said that she was going to be here and be his support. Izzy didn’t say things that she didn’t mean, and she always did her damnedest to do what she thought was right.
“Oh, Jace is always the troublemaker, but you always get dragged into it along with him. So, who knew if you’d decided to pick up the slack or not.” Izzy grinned, to show that she wasn’t criticizing the blonde that had become such an important part of their family. She added a wink on, to show that she was mostly teasing. Though, who knew what sort of trouble a more outgoing version of her brother could actually manage to find in a place like this? Izzy’d already made some interesting revelations herself. Not all of them were related to the differences between her and Alec’s worlds, though.
“My parents spend a nice chunk of time in Idris, it seems like. Max just got expelled again, actually.” Izzy offered, offhandedly, thinking about her younger brother and his impish ways. She still didn’t know why he seemed so intent on the fire rune, but that wasn’t the important thing; she knew that their parents weren’t exactly in great standing, but it seemed like her own versions had more freedom than his. “Maryse, in particular, didn’t want to lose control of the Institute, though.” Izzy wrinkled her nose; the differences were confusing and made it all the harder to figure out how similar and dissimilar their parents actually were in comparison. Izzy immediately nodded, though; she could see the similarities between the two, even if the one in front of her seemed to be more comfortable with himself. Maybe that was why it seemed so easy to attach herself to him the way she had her brother at home.
“He’s a lot like you from what I can tell, you’re just…in a better, less confused, place. Either way, though, I always wanted him, you, whatever…to be happy despite everything. Keeping the institute by marrying…definitely wasn’t an idea I liked, but I support my brothers even when they’re being stupid. Or stupidly noble.” Izzy shared, pointedly. It was true, though; she’d supported them throughout whatever….even if it was a mistake, she just…always did. Izzy couldn’t help but lift an eyebrow; she didn’t know if it was possible for the Clary and Jace situation to get more awkward, but she hoped it didn’t.
She already didn’t know what to do with the entire situation. “One, I hope that’s what they find out if I ever get back home. Two, I didn’t know that situation could get more awkward and weird when it was happening.” Izzy admitted with a little bit of a sigh before shaking that off. Izzy was meddlesome, but she’d been a little caught up with other things throughout all of that. And a part of her knew that that hadn’t helped Jace, or Clary, at the time, but she couldn’t go back and fix it.
She could help fix things for Alec here and now, though. “Well, you should find what makes you happy and what you enjoy doing.” Izzy’s tone was definitely bordering on bossy, but she didn’t feel as if it was much of a mistake in this case. Alec didn’t need to keep busy to stop thinking about his family now; she might not be his Izzy, but he had her now. And she would always be encouraging; she couldn’t help it. “You don’t need to keeps yourself busy all the time…and just because the vampires can’t get to you doesn’t mean that it’s your responsibility, you know, I’m sure there are others if you want to do other things.” She couldn’t help herself. Izzy had skills that she enjoyed, and she wanted the same for her brother…at home he’d been the one to take charge at the Institute the vast majority of the time, but that wasn’t by choice; it was birthright. The unladylike snort escaped Izzy’s mouth, and she didn’t bother to pretend that she hadn’t let it out. “Well, you’re going to get used to me not ignoring those things sooner or later, I’m sure.” A grin pulled at her painted lips and she followed it up with a shrug. “I like to be involved.”
The unfortunate thing was that she didn’t always want to drag Alec into her own issues and problems. She hoped, silently, that Meliorn wasn’t a traitor too, otherwise the rescue operation she’d championed…was for someone who didn’t deserve it. No, that wasn’t true. What they were going to do to him still wasn’t right, especially for the reason that he’d been brought in. Izzy couldn’t doubt that, her sense of justice in this matter, right now. She was surprised, though, by Alec’s question and shrugged it off, unsuccessfully. “I…broke it off because Maryse.” She admitted, frowning. “I was going through a phase, an attempting to grow up and not be the rebellious sibling phase.” Izzy shrugged again, not sure that quite explained it. “I actually thought doing that and dressing and acting the way she wanted would take some of the pressure off of Alec and that I’d prove myself to her. It was stupid, but it wasn’t the wrong thing to do.” It just hadn’t really been her choice. It wasn’t important, though, or at least that’s what Izzy tried to tell herself. Especially in comparison to some of the other subjects, especially the ones Alec needed to touch on.
“You wouldn’t do that, Alec.” Izzy corrected her brother, gently. She knew Alec. She even felt like she knew this Alec. He had too much of a sense of responsibility. He’d done what he thought was right in the moment. “You did what was right in the moment. You couldn’t let other people suffer.” She was convinced she was right and there wasn’t going to be any changing her mind. Squeezing her brother’s shoulders, the very ones that she knew had carried far more weight than should have been heaped on, Izzy felt sad. She could tell that what happened had a huge effect on him, and she was sure it had a big one on every single member of their family.
Izzy moved, leaning in and wrapping her arms around her brother, understanding, and yet knowing that despite his emotional state…there was nothing that he could have done. She could feel a lump in her stomach, even one in her throat, as she thought about the possibility of that happening to her brothers, to the family she left behind. It didn’t change her opinion. “You didn’t know, you were in a hard position and you made the choice that you had to. The right choice. You didn’t know that he was going to betray you.” She soothed, trying not to think about what she’d do, what she’d think, and what she’d feel if she were in his Izzy’s shoes at the time. What would she feel if she hadn’t been able to save Max?
She’d blame herself. She knew it. She couldn’t deny that, but Alec hadn’t done anything wrong. It wasn’t his fault. “It doesn’t make anything better, or change it, but you didn’t do anything wrong. And it’s not your fault, or her’s….no matter how much you both blame yourselves. I wasn’t there, I haven’t been through it, but…from what you’ve said it’s not either of your faults.” It wasn’t easy to say, but…it was a little easier considering it wasn’t her situation, she hadn’t been through it. But she still dreaded the idea that it could happen, potentially. She couldn’t help the frown marring her face, or the emotion that was held just beneath the surface; it wasn’t her family, her Max, but she felt the emotions all the same. Especially considering the fact that she couldn’t rule out the possibility that it could one day happen to her little brother. God, she really hoped that it didn’t; she didn’t care how selfish it was, but she didn’t hope that just for her, but for the adorable imp everyone loved back home.
It felt wrong to be emotional at someone else’s pain and torment…that she hadn’t had to face, and yet here she was holding back her own emotions, and doing her best to be strong for the brother that had been through so much more than the one that she knew. It was definitely easier said than done. It only made things more apparent that they needed one another, even if they weren’t quite the right versions for the other.