Ducking his head, he wasn’t sure what to think about Izzy’s automatic assumption that she’d adore him. It was different for him. How could he not care about her no matter what reality she was from but Alec knew he wasn’t the easiest person to be around. He was getting better, growing past the boundaries he’d thought were necessary but she’d just met him. His siblings loved him but he’d been the boring eldest brother. He’d hoped that after he moved out that things would change for the better and in many ways they had. They all were changing for the better but it was still strange that Izzy would adore him simply for being Alec when for years it seemed like he had to be someone else. “I’m learning not to. But you should be careful about assuming you’ll adore me. I am weird, remember.”
“Izzy and Maryse have a strange relationship. I don’t understand it,” he explained, trying to be as honest as possible since this Izzy should know something about the teenager that Alec knew. “Jocelyn says Izzy’s like Maryse was when she was a girl but –“ His parents had been part of the Circle and Izzy would never be part of those kinds of atrocities. They were all guilty of Shadowhunter elitism but they’d never hurt someone because they were a Downworlder. “In some ways they are similar though. They keep their distance emotionally. But Izzy’s never wanted power the way our parents did.” Grabbing a pair of coffee mugs, Alec looked over his shoulder, rolling his eyes. “Is he getting the ‘it’s a shame no one will inherit your eyes’ or ‘it’s a pity you won’t give your parents grandchildren’ speeches yet?”
Setting down a mug on the counter, he studied Izzy for a moment, considering his own parental problems. “Our parents don’t define us and if they can’t appreciate us, then they don’t deserve us. We became good people because of our bonds with each other. After the things they did in the past, they have no right to judge us. From what you’ve told me, you supported and loved your brother when he was sure the rest of the world would hate him and that he didn’t deserve to be Nephilim. You accept and love him and that makes you better than your Maryse will ever be.” Giving her a self-conscious smile, he tapped his fingers against the shiny ceramic. “You probably don’t know how important that was.”
Considering the comments about his father, Alec decided to push them aside. They had more important things, pleasanter things, to talk about than Robert and his homophobia and how he’d treated his parabatai. Eventually, they’d get to that subject. Would this version of Izzy be as horrified as is had been? She’d been furious with Robert and Alec had the feeling that why she’d cut most ties with their father was because of that confession. Even without having a parabatai, she knew what Robert had done was wrong. She’d seen Alec’s own fears over Jace’s reaction his sexuality enough to know how horrible it had been for Michael. Thank the Angel that Jace hadn’t freaked or hated him when he realized that his parabatai was gay.
“Even before I started dating Magnus and had to learn about fashion, I knew you looked perfect,” he confessed solemnly, eyes bright with the humor he tried, and failed, to hide. Laughing at himself, he nodded at her question. “Yes, I did, but Magnus had been very – “ He cleared his throat, flushing faintly. “Distracting. I think I’m more forward than your Alec.” Rolling around on the floor, tearing each others’ clothes off, forward but there were some things his not quite little sister shouldn’t know about. “We met Magnus at a party and Simon didn’t know about Downworlder parties. He drank something he shouldn’t have and got turned into a rat. We couldn’t find him and she was crying because she hadn’t taken better care of him.”
Maybe that’s when he should have known that something would happen between his sister and Simon. Usually she would have felt guilty over getting a Mundane in trouble but not to that extent. Alec had assumed that alcohol or whatever else was in the drinks had caused Izzy’s heartbreak but maybe something else had been there too. “I don’t mind the questions but I expect you to tell me about your world too. Like why Alec thought it’d be a great idea to get married if he knew he was gay.” How would that have even worked? Someday that would fall apart in some spectacular way that would destroy more lives than it would have helped.
“Luke couldn’t let Clary’s brother get hurt. Well, at that time he was her brother.” That was another strange, convoluted subject that he wasn’t sure had happened in Izzy’s world. Hopefully, it hadn’t since it’d nearly destroyed his parabatai. Maybe Valentine hadn’t played that particular mind game in Izzy’s reality. “He still wouldn’t have let the wolves hurt a Shadowhunter if he could stop it but Jace was a special case.”
Pouring coffee, he kept his expression neutral as he considered the lecture Maryse had given him while he’d hoped that she’d say something about being grateful that he was alive. “She told me off for not taking better care of you two when Abbadon attacked us. I don’t really remember what she said.” He’d been trying too hard not to show any signs of his injuries, to be the adult she expected when he had been hoping for some sign that he was important to her. Mostly he remembered the hurt and how it’d reinforced that he wasn’t special to his parents. Not like Izzy, Jace, and Max. “I don’t know what she was expecting. We were a bunch of teenagers facing a Greater Demon.”
It shouldn’t have happened and his parents should have cared that their son was dying but they’d never really shown any interest in them until Max was gone.
Blinking at Izzy, he tried to figure out what she would want to work on, belatedly realizing that she meant his work schedule. “Izzy, it’s no worse than what we were doing when we were fighting Valentine. Except there’s less fighting. I watch vampires flirt with their snacks at night and I’ve been training to be a first responder during the day. I just hated being alone in the house and even that’s gotten better.” Thanks to his agreement with Sebastian that they could crash at each other’s townhouse when their own place became too quiet.
It probably wasn’t a good idea to mention staring at guys and then think of his neighbor. Glancing down at his mug, he told himself that he was allowed to look. Magnus thought it was amusing when Alec finally relaxed enough to be able to enjoy checking guys out. It was normal after so much time repressing an important part of himself. “There are some hot guys here. I’m sure you’ll have most of them charmed and falling in love with you… unless you’re serious with Simon in your reality.”
Rolling his eyes at her complaint about her cooking, he covered his laugh with a cough. “My Izzy should never be allowed in the kitchen. She has very ‘unique’ ideas about flavor combinations and borrows recipes from the Fae. There’s this weird soup with peanuts that –“ He almost shuddered at the thought of it. It was a miracle that none of them had gotten food poisoning. “I don’t know if it was really meant for Nephilim.” That had to be more polite than saying Izzy nearly killed them with her cooking on a regular basis.
He began considering breakfast, a normal task that he’d performed for years for his siblings because there really hadn’t been anyone else to feed them before realizing he couldn’t keep avoiding talking about the youngest Lightwood. It wasn’t fair to her or to Max. By the Angel, he didn’t want to tell her, especially when her Max might be safe. Her Max might escape his Max’s fate. But avoiding difficult topics never solved anything. It’d been what had caused some of the worst problems in their lives. Gesturing toward the kitchen table, he sighed as he scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Izzy, I think I need to tell you about that subject I wanted to avoid. But we need to sit down first.”
no subject
“Izzy and Maryse have a strange relationship. I don’t understand it,” he explained, trying to be as honest as possible since this Izzy should know something about the teenager that Alec knew. “Jocelyn says Izzy’s like Maryse was when she was a girl but –“ His parents had been part of the Circle and Izzy would never be part of those kinds of atrocities. They were all guilty of Shadowhunter elitism but they’d never hurt someone because they were a Downworlder. “In some ways they are similar though. They keep their distance emotionally. But Izzy’s never wanted power the way our parents did.” Grabbing a pair of coffee mugs, Alec looked over his shoulder, rolling his eyes. “Is he getting the ‘it’s a shame no one will inherit your eyes’ or ‘it’s a pity you won’t give your parents grandchildren’ speeches yet?”
Setting down a mug on the counter, he studied Izzy for a moment, considering his own parental problems. “Our parents don’t define us and if they can’t appreciate us, then they don’t deserve us. We became good people because of our bonds with each other. After the things they did in the past, they have no right to judge us. From what you’ve told me, you supported and loved your brother when he was sure the rest of the world would hate him and that he didn’t deserve to be Nephilim. You accept and love him and that makes you better than your Maryse will ever be.” Giving her a self-conscious smile, he tapped his fingers against the shiny ceramic. “You probably don’t know how important that was.”
Considering the comments about his father, Alec decided to push them aside. They had more important things, pleasanter things, to talk about than Robert and his homophobia and how he’d treated his parabatai. Eventually, they’d get to that subject. Would this version of Izzy be as horrified as is had been? She’d been furious with Robert and Alec had the feeling that why she’d cut most ties with their father was because of that confession. Even without having a parabatai, she knew what Robert had done was wrong. She’d seen Alec’s own fears over Jace’s reaction his sexuality enough to know how horrible it had been for Michael. Thank the Angel that Jace hadn’t freaked or hated him when he realized that his parabatai was gay.
“Even before I started dating Magnus and had to learn about fashion, I knew you looked perfect,” he confessed solemnly, eyes bright with the humor he tried, and failed, to hide. Laughing at himself, he nodded at her question. “Yes, I did, but Magnus had been very – “ He cleared his throat, flushing faintly. “Distracting. I think I’m more forward than your Alec.” Rolling around on the floor, tearing each others’ clothes off, forward but there were some things his not quite little sister shouldn’t know about. “We met Magnus at a party and Simon didn’t know about Downworlder parties. He drank something he shouldn’t have and got turned into a rat. We couldn’t find him and she was crying because she hadn’t taken better care of him.”
Maybe that’s when he should have known that something would happen between his sister and Simon. Usually she would have felt guilty over getting a Mundane in trouble but not to that extent. Alec had assumed that alcohol or whatever else was in the drinks had caused Izzy’s heartbreak but maybe something else had been there too. “I don’t mind the questions but I expect you to tell me about your world too. Like why Alec thought it’d be a great idea to get married if he knew he was gay.” How would that have even worked? Someday that would fall apart in some spectacular way that would destroy more lives than it would have helped.
“Luke couldn’t let Clary’s brother get hurt. Well, at that time he was her brother.” That was another strange, convoluted subject that he wasn’t sure had happened in Izzy’s world. Hopefully, it hadn’t since it’d nearly destroyed his parabatai. Maybe Valentine hadn’t played that particular mind game in Izzy’s reality. “He still wouldn’t have let the wolves hurt a Shadowhunter if he could stop it but Jace was a special case.”
Pouring coffee, he kept his expression neutral as he considered the lecture Maryse had given him while he’d hoped that she’d say something about being grateful that he was alive. “She told me off for not taking better care of you two when Abbadon attacked us. I don’t really remember what she said.” He’d been trying too hard not to show any signs of his injuries, to be the adult she expected when he had been hoping for some sign that he was important to her. Mostly he remembered the hurt and how it’d reinforced that he wasn’t special to his parents. Not like Izzy, Jace, and Max. “I don’t know what she was expecting. We were a bunch of teenagers facing a Greater Demon.”
It shouldn’t have happened and his parents should have cared that their son was dying but they’d never really shown any interest in them until Max was gone.
Blinking at Izzy, he tried to figure out what she would want to work on, belatedly realizing that she meant his work schedule. “Izzy, it’s no worse than what we were doing when we were fighting Valentine. Except there’s less fighting. I watch vampires flirt with their snacks at night and I’ve been training to be a first responder during the day. I just hated being alone in the house and even that’s gotten better.” Thanks to his agreement with Sebastian that they could crash at each other’s townhouse when their own place became too quiet.
It probably wasn’t a good idea to mention staring at guys and then think of his neighbor. Glancing down at his mug, he told himself that he was allowed to look. Magnus thought it was amusing when Alec finally relaxed enough to be able to enjoy checking guys out. It was normal after so much time repressing an important part of himself. “There are some hot guys here. I’m sure you’ll have most of them charmed and falling in love with you… unless you’re serious with Simon in your reality.”
Rolling his eyes at her complaint about her cooking, he covered his laugh with a cough. “My Izzy should never be allowed in the kitchen. She has very ‘unique’ ideas about flavor combinations and borrows recipes from the Fae. There’s this weird soup with peanuts that –“ He almost shuddered at the thought of it. It was a miracle that none of them had gotten food poisoning. “I don’t know if it was really meant for Nephilim.” That had to be more polite than saying Izzy nearly killed them with her cooking on a regular basis.
He began considering breakfast, a normal task that he’d performed for years for his siblings because there really hadn’t been anyone else to feed them before realizing he couldn’t keep avoiding talking about the youngest Lightwood. It wasn’t fair to her or to Max. By the Angel, he didn’t want to tell her, especially when her Max might be safe. Her Max might escape his Max’s fate. But avoiding difficult topics never solved anything. It’d been what had caused some of the worst problems in their lives. Gesturing toward the kitchen table, he sighed as he scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Izzy, I think I need to tell you about that subject I wanted to avoid. But we need to sit down first.”