"It wasn't just to keep everyone happy," he corrected gently. "Someone had to keep the two of you alive. Robert and Maryse were rarely there. I know it changed how all of you saw me, but I couldn't let you two get hurt." Even if that meant he wasn't the popular one or that his siblings didn't love him the way he'd hoped for. "I'm never going to make my parents happy. I accepted that after I introduced them to Magnus." Not quite but if Alec told himself that enough, he began to temporarily believe it. "You would have done the same if you'd been the eldest. You would have protected us."
So would his Izzy but thankfully she'd never had to deal with that. She had been free to be the person she wanted to be. And, now, Alec had that freedom too. It had been worth the wait even if there had been times when he'd never thought he'd have a chance at happiness or acceptance.
"The confidence was partially because of her. She shoved me in the right direction. I did need that acceptance that she gave me. That and Clary forcing me to confront my feelings changed everything." He was still changing, but that was for the better. It was time for him to step out of the shadows. To prove that he was silver, as Magnus had phrased it. Someone worthwhile even if the Clave didn't believe that.
"I'm still taller so I'm the big brother," he said with a grin, letting go of her hair while exaggerating a wince over the poke to his ribs. "The two of you are more similar than you think."
The comment about the rune being 'quite magical' sounded like it was some sort of joke that the other Alec would know. "What did he do for you to tease him about that?" It was probably something that would embarrass the other version of himself but it couldn't be worse than some of the things he'd done during his early dates with Magnus. Or his flailing over the hickey on his neck and trying to explain that he fell and ended up with a bite mark near his block rune. "Clary did it. And Luke and Simon. They were the ones that finally helped unite everyone. As much as possible. We're still working out the problems."
Before he could hide the reaction, his smile faltered and he forced himself to push aside the familiar sorrow. "There were worse secrets, Izzy, but it's not something to discuss today. It's too hard." Eventually Alec would tell her about their little brother. When there hadn't been so many shocks and confusion. "They'll be okay eventually. Jace needs to accept that it's okay to love someone who did terrible things but he's working through it. He isn't even trashing werewolf bars anymore."
It wasn't quite a joke but at least when Jace was feeling self-destructive, he knew to take Alec with him.
Waiting for her decision, he looked at her solemnly, knowing she would probably poke him again. "I hate to break this too you, but I am weird. I check out Silent Brothers and I sing random songs I hear on the subway." Her Alec probably wouldn't admit any of that, if he did those things. "But I had to give you a chance to be on your own. It wouldn't be fair to assume that you wanted another brother. We both know I can't say one Izzy is better than another. But someday I'll tell you why I think she acts that way toward everyone. You can tell me how you ended up different and I'll hope that my Izzy can find a way to be happy."
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So would his Izzy but thankfully she'd never had to deal with that. She had been free to be the person she wanted to be. And, now, Alec had that freedom too. It had been worth the wait even if there had been times when he'd never thought he'd have a chance at happiness or acceptance.
"The confidence was partially because of her. She shoved me in the right direction. I did need that acceptance that she gave me. That and Clary forcing me to confront my feelings changed everything." He was still changing, but that was for the better. It was time for him to step out of the shadows. To prove that he was silver, as Magnus had phrased it. Someone worthwhile even if the Clave didn't believe that.
"I'm still taller so I'm the big brother," he said with a grin, letting go of her hair while exaggerating a wince over the poke to his ribs. "The two of you are more similar than you think."
The comment about the rune being 'quite magical' sounded like it was some sort of joke that the other Alec would know. "What did he do for you to tease him about that?" It was probably something that would embarrass the other version of himself but it couldn't be worse than some of the things he'd done during his early dates with Magnus. Or his flailing over the hickey on his neck and trying to explain that he fell and ended up with a bite mark near his block rune. "Clary did it. And Luke and Simon. They were the ones that finally helped unite everyone. As much as possible. We're still working out the problems."
Before he could hide the reaction, his smile faltered and he forced himself to push aside the familiar sorrow. "There were worse secrets, Izzy, but it's not something to discuss today. It's too hard." Eventually Alec would tell her about their little brother. When there hadn't been so many shocks and confusion. "They'll be okay eventually. Jace needs to accept that it's okay to love someone who did terrible things but he's working through it. He isn't even trashing werewolf bars anymore."
It wasn't quite a joke but at least when Jace was feeling self-destructive, he knew to take Alec with him.
Waiting for her decision, he looked at her solemnly, knowing she would probably poke him again. "I hate to break this too you, but I am weird. I check out Silent Brothers and I sing random songs I hear on the subway." Her Alec probably wouldn't admit any of that, if he did those things. "But I had to give you a chance to be on your own. It wouldn't be fair to assume that you wanted another brother. We both know I can't say one Izzy is better than another. But someday I'll tell you why I think she acts that way toward everyone. You can tell me how you ended up different and I'll hope that my Izzy can find a way to be happy."